Reminiscing
Questions to ask your mum
Your mum has told you a lot, but hardly everything. These questions help her tell the memories you’ve never talked about. We picked 20 questions about her youth, expecting you and being a mum, with tips on reminiscing together to begin with.
Before you ask
Tips for reminiscing together
Ask about everyday life
Ordinary things are a good place to start: where the family ate, who sat where, how the washing was done before washing machines.
Ask about their youth
Many people remember best what happened between the ages of about 10 and 30.
Bring out an old photo
A photo or object of their own brings back memories more strongly than anything else.
Give it time
Silence doesn’t mean the topic is dull. Often they are thinking.
Listen and ask more
Real interest encourages them to tell more. Sometimes it’s enough to say: “You once told me…”
Not everything has to be remembered
Some memories are heavy. If a topic doesn’t feel right, choose another question.
Further reading (in Finnish): Taina Stenberg, Muistelu vuorovaikutusmenetelmänä (Reminiscence as a way of interacting, Ikäinstituutti 2015, PDF).
The questions
20 questions
Choose one question at a time and let her tell it at her own pace. Other lists: Questions to ask your dad and Questions to ask a grandparent.
When you were young
- What kind of girl were you?
- Who was your first crush?
- What do you remember about the dances and evenings out of your youth?
- Which film, book or song made a big impression on you when you were young?
Family
- What do you remember about your own mother?
- How did you meet Dad?
- Why did I get the name I have?
- Which sayings, recipes or customs have been passed down in our family?
Motherhood
- What was it like expecting me?
- What did you think when you first held me?
- What was everyday life like when we children were small?
- Which songs or bedtime stories did you sing and read to me?
- What has been the best part of being a mum?
- What did you hope for me when I was little?
Home and everyday life
- What was your first home of your own like?
- Which dish or bake do you make so well that others ask for the recipe?
Thoughts on life
- What are you proudest of in your life?
- What has helped you through the hard times?
- What have you learned about people over your life?
- What would you like me to know about you?
Give memories as a gift
In Muistola your mum tells her memories by speaking whenever it suits her, and you get to know her in a new way. The first month is free, and a year of Muistola as a gift costs €59.