Reminiscing
Questions to ask your dad
Your dad may have told the same story a hundred times. These questions help him tell the memories you’ve never talked about. We picked 20 questions about his youth, being a dad and the day you were born, with tips on reminiscing together to begin with.
Before you ask
Tips for reminiscing together
Ask about everyday life
Ordinary things are a good place to start: where the family ate, who sat where, how the washing was done before washing machines.
Ask about their youth
Many people remember best what happened between the ages of about 10 and 30.
Bring out an old photo
A photo or object of their own brings back memories more strongly than anything else.
Give it time
Silence doesn’t mean the topic is dull. Often they are thinking.
Listen and ask more
Real interest encourages them to tell more. Sometimes it’s enough to say: “You once told me…”
Not everything has to be remembered
Some memories are heavy. If a topic doesn’t feel right, choose another question.
Further reading (in Finnish): Taina Stenberg, Muistelu vuorovaikutusmenetelmänä (Reminiscence as a way of interacting, Ikäinstituutti 2015, PDF).
The questions
20 questions
Choose one question at a time and let him tell it at his own pace. Other lists: Questions to ask your mum and Questions to ask a grandparent.
When you were young
- What kind of boy were you?
- What did you most like to play as a child?
- Who was your best friend when you were young?
- What did you dream of doing as an adult when you were young?
Family
- What do you remember about your own father?
- How did you meet Mum?
- What do you remember about the day I was born?
- What were you afraid of when you were my age?
Fatherhood
- How did it feel when you became a dad?
- What kind of dad did you want to be?
- What did you want to do differently from your own father?
- What has been the hardest part of being a dad?
- Which moment from my childhood has stayed with you the most?
Work and everyday life
- What was your first job like?
- What was your first car like?
- What was the hardest decision of your life?
Thoughts on life
- What is the best advice you’ve been given?
- What would you say to yourself at twenty?
- What makes you laugh?
- What do you hope I remember about you?
Give memories as a gift
In Muistola your dad tells his memories by speaking whenever it suits him, and you get to know him in a new way. The first month is free, and a year of Muistola as a gift costs €59.